Whoever angers you owns you

“Anger is a wink which blows out the lamp of the mind”, Robert Green Ingersoll

Thank you for allowing me to share some of my experiences as a driver of change. I will start with where I am now and then go back to the beginning of how I was influenced in doing what I do now. I have been a Certified Anger and Stress Management Consultant and Facilitator since May 2011.

I consult on the premises of Turning Point aka The Amanzimtoti Trauma Centre. Besides helping their clients referred to me by their Social Workers for anger and stress management issues, I am actively involved with the entire community in that capacity.

It has been my privilege to have had in the region of 800 anger and stress management sessions. My sessions are well structured in getting to the anger and or stress triggers. I then provide 12 steps which, if practiced diligently will provide a life with controlled anger and stress. Full notes are given. Four hours or more are a mean average to cover all the 12 steps and more if it becomes evident.

Many of my clients are referred to me by Legal Authorities, Schools, Churches, word of mouth, emails etc. I have also spoken at seminars, work places. I will see anyone irrespective of beliefs, gender identities, backgrounds and sexual preference. My aim is not to change those things but for the clients to overcome destructive anger behaviour which often becomes abusive.

My stock phrase is “whoever angers you owns you”. So how have I become so passionate about the topic particularly when it involves Gender Based Violence?

Returning from a church service one Sunday morning we heard screams for help coming from the flat above us. We went outside only to see the lady upstairs being violently beaten by her husband. She was hanging out the window trying to escape. I was only 10 years old at the time.

This incident remains vivid in my mind and I thought this cannot happen. The couple upstairs had just come from the same church that we had been to. I think this incident was the seed that shaped my passion for helping anyone with destructive anger.

My work career gave me the opportunity of leading the biggest trade union in our factory. This gave me lots of experience in conflict management and getting the anger of my member’s energy to be put to positive use. I then became a plant trainer, then after a few more promotions I became the Regional Human Resources Manager, this helped me to provide stress guidance to managers.

I then resigned from that position and became a full time Pastor for 20 years,

All the above career moves positioned me to gain experience to venture into concentrating full time on anger and stress management.

To achieve this end I resigned as a Pastor (rightly or wrongly I just felt that my Pastoral call was not meeting the needs of the thousands “outside’) I went on a training course with Shelton Kartun in Cape Town and became a certified anger and stress consultant and facilitator.

I have an undying passion to help people with out of controlled anger and stress. I think that this has helped me to be a driver of change. Maybe less gender based violence, bullying, general domestic violence, road rage and many other intolerant behaviours.